I'm not okay.

I seldom complain. I never talk about my pain.

I don't really good at expressing myself, my feeling with words.
Everyone has stress since they have their troubles too. So I keep it all myself. 

But it is really a difficult time to me. 
Sometimes I just feel like I really need an ears to listen all my problems so that I would feel better.
But, who really care?

Don't worry.  Nothing terrible happened to me.

I guess it might just a learning process that everyone would go through in their life.

Is the things that happened around me have ever been happened to you too?

I failed one of my subjects that I've paid so much effort just to get as high score as possible.

Just because some of them managed to pass the paper even they were slept at the exam hall while they sitting for the paper.

Some of them did not have enough attendance marks since they had been absence from class for more than 3 times.

I wonder how they can pass the subject. Funny? No kidding.

Okay. Maybe I should not blame on others and reflect on myself: Hello, how come you can fail the paper?

*big claps for myself*

Well.
Recently I ended a relationship with one of my close friends. Somehow more than friend, maybe. 
It was totally out of my expectation. It wasn't supposed to end like this.

We stick together wherever we go. 
We have endless topic of anything to talk about and then burst into laughing.
We have a deep connection that is sometimes indefinable.

I don't remember how many times I kept fall asleep crying when I found that there was nothing I can do to mend our broken relationship.

It really hurts that we already became strangers now.
We have nothing else to say.
 We ignore each other and pretend the other person doesn't exist.

I just simply wish that I could talk to you for a while. Just a while.
I've promised myself NEVER cry again no matter what happened. 

Now, look in the mirror: Who are you?

I was like changing to another person who I don't used to be.
Is it me?
So lost. Sometimes, I can't even recognize myself.

I apparently tweet and sleep more when I am feeling down.

I fight with others as I get anger easily.

I feel so down, depressed, frustrated and unhappy all the time.

Now I write all this out as I want myself to make a move on instead of keep dwelling on the past.
Sorry for sharing such grandmother-stories. 

Just let it be, okay? I will be alright. 

Time to move on.