Dear Shiitomo

Maybe it is just for us to lose someone in order to make us realized that how important they're to us.

Dear Shiitomo

It has been a while since last time we seen each other.
How's your life there? Is everything okie?

You know what? I don't really enjoy my life here.
I don't like the people here, their working attitude, the department policy, the result of my last semester and even, myself.

After everything is gone, I start my life on my own.
I've learn to be more INDEPENDENT, which means I have to handle and settle everything by myself.
It is a MUST in our life. I know I must be strong, now and always.

Learn how to take care of myself rather than rely on others no matter how simple the thing is:
I try to enjoy everything here.
I cook for myself; I eat on time; I try not skipping meals.
I do every job with giving out all of my best.
I do all the housework that should also be done by others even they're not.
I passby the basketball court that we used to be there before, alone.
I try to smile cheerily like I never crying in my sleep.
I try to let myself look happy even I know I am not. Yes my dear, I'm really not.

I know the reasons why I am not happy but I have no ideas how to shoot these blues.
Someone teach me how, please? 

I went for part time job every weekend. I made my schedule as full as possible so that I have no time to think so much, or look back.
I hang out with friends but ended up with stress.
I felt tired everyday no matter how many hours I've slept.
And there was the very first time I know the exact feeling of insomnia.
I am really exhausted and still not able to sleep.  

Hey, what's wrong with me recently? And no one could answer me.

I always have the urge to give you a msg, by phone or facebook.
There are so many things I want to tell you, want to share with you at the first moment.
But I gave up the thought at last. I guess you know why.  *smile*

Dear shiitomo, don't worry. Nothing serious. Just wish you were here.

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through
Till I find my way home to you. To you.....